...everyone should have their own.Last week I had given up. We went to church and Matthew and I ended up walking the halls almost all of sacrament meeting. And by the end I had had it and said we were going home. I just didn't see the point of us going to church if both of us ended up walking the halls the whole time.
Everyone I know says one of two things to me about being a mom of twins... "I really don't know how you do it, it must be really hard..." or... "You're life must be extremely busy..." and my life IS extremely busy and sometimes it is really hard. BUT I wouldn't change it for the world... that being said, there are certain aspects of being a parent of twins that most people take for granted...
...because both boys are not walking... which grocery store has carts with 2 seats? if i need to go to a store that has only one seat will I have enough room for the things I need and a baby in the cart?
...oh I wish I could go out to eat with friends during the day, but because neither boy is walking I have to take the stroller... does the restaurant have enough room for me to park my stroller and cater to the lunch rush?
...well, Matthew is TDY again and I have to skip church because I can't handle both boys by myself for 1 hr let alone 3hrs...
...does the store I need to go to have a handicap door? if not can i open the door and manage 2 boys in a stroller by myself? I know there are plenty of women out there who have children close enough in age that they need a double stroller too, but when you have 2 kids exactly the same age who are at the same development level is completely different...
...I can't go pay rent until Matthew gets home because our rent place has stairs and no elevator...
...I wouldn't be able to go to the DMV or post office with the boys because they are not very stroller accessible...
...and the list goes on and on...
I am by no means complaining or looking for sympathy. But I just wanted others to understand what brought me to my breaking point last week... It had been kind of a rough week. I was burned out, and I really wanted to go to church and feel the spirit.. AND don't go saying, "well if you didn't feel the spirit at church then it's no ones fault but your own..." I LOATH that misconception. It is true that you have to play a big part in feeling spiritual, but I believe there are unforeseen circumstances that can keep you from feeling the spirit or feeling it as strong.
...SO I really needed my spiritual cup filled, and I didn't hear either talk or get to take the sacrament because my children wanted to crawl around. Mind you they weren't being naughty per say, but they didn't want to sit and play or be content, they are almost 14mo olds for heaven's sake and they are VERY mobile... and they are 4mo shy of going to nursery...
...I know every parent goes through walking the halls with children in transition, like us... but most parents get a break... We don't.
...so we came home early last week, I was in tears, and Matthew pulled me into his arms and said, "I know you had a rough day... rough week... and you really wanted to feel the spirit, but to be honest when we were waiting all that time to get pregnant, every time we went to church I told myself I couldn't wait to walk the halls." THAT's when it hit me... I used to think that too. And I realized it was my own fault for feeling the way I did. I knew that I needed to be responsible for my attitude and take control and remember that it is just good to be in the church building on Sunday even if something keeps you from being in the the whole meeting. So yesterday I decided to have a completely better attitude about church and my kids. Yes, Matthew ended up walking the halls most of sacrament meeting, we both walked the halls during Sunday School, and I walked the halls almost all of Relief Society, but I came home feeling much more fulfilled, and ready to start the week because I knew my testimony was stronger than a kid's temper-tantrum.
3 comments:
Katie, does it help to say that you are completely normal? Between one and nursery age, church is a waste for mom and dad, even with just one baby. I cannot imagine how much more challenging it is with two. But, I remember the challenge of one.
First, do what you have to do. There was a time when William was 2 that I brought him home after Sac Mtg every week because of issues with the nursery. I still think I did the right thing.
Second, the only point to church with kids this age is to keep up the habit. When our first two were this age we were attending a ward that hadn't fed us spiritually (yes, I hate that comment about it being my fault too) before we had kids. It was hard to attend before, but maybe it was easier then with the kids because we had already given up on getting anything out of the meetings. We found our own spiritual food other places.
And, I don't want this to sound patronizing, but parenting is a long-term haul. Read my latest blog post for an example. We do things for a long time before we see any rewards.
Good luck!!
Oh, one other thing I almost forgot. Just because you had to deal with infertility before you got pregnant and wanted all this so badly, doesn't mean you don't have to right to complain now.
I like the toothbrush saying, that's cute.
You're awesome, and you take everything with stride, your boys are lucky to have you.
Even with all the struggles of having twins, I'm still jealous of you. I would love twins!
ah, the pre-nursery stage...ugh! even w/one, i just pretty much count on not attending at least one of my mtgs just b/c it's not going to happen. just keep thinking to yourself: just four more months, and they'll be in nursery! almost there! hang in there!
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